What Is That On The Carpet?

Beware of the carpet in your new house (unless of course it's a brand spanking new house).

We recently sold our home in California. The carpet was clean (or as clean as the steam cleaning people could get it) but it was still really disgusting. There was no getting around what had gone on (and in) it.

We hadn't told the builder to put that horrible brown carpet in every inch of the house because we thought we would be walking on it 5 years later ... we were determined to get it replaced in the first year ... we are accomplished home improvement people ... but we couldn't come to an agreement on WHAT to put in its' place. I wanted wood ... husband wanted cold, hard, echo inducing, hard to clean tile.

In the interim, the dogs (and us) tromped through mud, sand, grass, etc. and brought it all in the house. The dogs had the occasional vomit episodes ... and there was that awesome saltwater aquarium leak ...

Once the kids came (especially after the twins) the stuff spilled on the carpet included (among a lot of other things) a gallon of white paint and one entire bottle of breast milk ... we never got that smell out ... I discovered that if you break out the lemon oil and slather it all over the wood furniture everyone who comes in thinks that the nice fresh smell is because you are so diligent about your wood furniture ... not that you are masking nasty odors ... cookies in the oven to hide smells is for amateurs.

Anyway, one incident stands out in my mind as the last straw in the history of the disgusting carpet ...

Our twins were about 7 months old and oldest daughter was 22 months ... husband (like normal) was gone from the house from 5:30 am until 7 pm ... I didn't have any help and I was crazy sleep deprived. One morning I was walking out of the master bedroom closet and noticed something on the floor ... it was long and brown and looked like a giant turd ... my addled brain was racing ... what was that? OMG ... someone had pooped on the floor... my husband was at work ... but wait, he doesn't poop on the carpet ... I knew I hadn't done it ... mine was still knocking at the back door ... I hadn't had time to do my business yet ... and wait ... I don't poop on the floor either. The dogs poop had never looked like that ... and besides they don't poop on the carpet either ... what was it??? Then I notice that my 22 month old daughter is walking toward me with no diaper on ... I was changing her diaper and discovered I needed more diapers ... I got up to get a new one and forgot ... leaving her roaming in the bedroom sans diaper ... but could this huge turd be from her .... "What is that?" I ask her ... she says "poo poo" ... "Yours?" I ask ... the laughing and dancing is my proof that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I hope the new home owners' replaced the carpet before they moved in.